Vaccination
by Revever
Summary: Flashback to the days before the divorce. Milah tries again to be a good mother and plans to take four-year-old Bae to the doctor for MMR vaccination. Gold tries to manage subsequent disaster, but things don't go as planned and everything is going to change. Part seven of Something There series.


Gold remembered how it was a few years ago, before Millie left. She was often insisting on doing chores and taking care of Bae, only to resign quickly, frustrated when something proved to be much more difficult than she expected. The day when Bae had his MMR vaccination scheduled was just like that.

When Gold emerged from the bathroom this morning, clean-shaven and sharply dressed, he heard a piercing wail of a child tear through the house. As quick as his limp allowed, he rushed to Bae's room.

Millie was in there, standing over their crying son, with her arms crossed on her chest and brows furrowed. Bae was sitting on the bed half-dressed, clutching his stuffed dragon.

'Bailey! Stop it!' she said sternly. 'I've told you that you won't even feel it! Stop behaving like I am hurting you God knows how!'

Bae just wailed louder in response, gulping for breath and hiccupping.

'Millie...'

Millie turned quickly.

'Aren't you supposed to go to work?' she asked sharply. 'I can manage our son just fine.'

Bae chose that exact moment to leap up from the bed and run towards Gold. At the end he tripped and slammed into his papa's legs. Gold immediately bent down and scooped up the child. Bae threw his arms around Gold's neck and hid his face in Gold's shirt.

Meanwhile, Millie was looking at Gold with utter betrayal and hurt. Gold felt his stomach twist anxiously.

'Millie...' he tried. 'Perhaps if...'

'Oh, so you're the good parent, right?' Millie interrupted him, thumping her foot against the soft carpet. 'You don't think I can do this, right? You were sure from the very beginning that I can't take my own son to the doctor!'

Gold cringed, because this was true. This was exactly what he had thought when Millie had had this idea the previous evening.

'No, no, Millie, you can, but... You don't have any experience.'

'So now you're just accusing me of not caring for my own son? It's you who doesn't let me do that, you know?'

'No, that's not true, Millie. I've let you try many times.'

And almost always it ended with him finishing the job. Millie could play with Bae when she was in the mood, could cook when she had a whim or appetite for something that Gold couldn't prepare, could buy Bae toys and some clothes, could order tasty and unhealthy food to have fun, but no, at the end of the day Gold always made sure that everything is okay, however angry she would get at him checking.

'You've let me try,' Millie said slowly. 'And don't you think that perhaps this is the problem? That it's another way for you to control me? You control my money, you control me with my child, what is going to be next?'

Not sex, Gold thought bitterly. That was already completely up to her and... He shook his head. Now was not the time for this.

'Millie, we'll talk later. Right now Bae is the priority.'

'Of course!' Millie snapped. 'Then you can take him to the doctor yourself. It's not like you trust me to do this!'

With that she stormed out of the room. Gold sighed and slowly limped to the bed. Bae was growing up so quickly and standing with him in his arms was tasking.

'Bae? Son? Look at me?'

Bae reluctantly lifted his head. Gold took his own handkerchief and tried to clean Bae's face.

'Are you afraid, Bae?'

The boy nodded timidly. Gold hugged him closer.

'It's okay, Bae. Papa will be with you. I can hold you the whole time. And the nurse will make sure it will be as quick as possible.'

''M scared...'

'I know, sweetheart. I know. I don't like needles that much as well. But will you go with me to the doctor?'

Bae nodded finally.

'We'll go after you're back from kindergarten.'

'No, papa... Don't want to go.'

'You don't want to go to the kindergarten?'

'My tummy hurts,' Bae said and Gold admitted his quick defeat.

'Then what about going with me to the shop?'

'Yes!' Bae cuddled closer, sighing happily.

They went through the whole morning routine undisturbed. The house was quiet and Millie's purse and coat were missing. Gold mentally sighed with relief. But he would have to try better to include Millie in house and parenting chores. She was right, how was she supposed to learn if he didn't allow her. He would have to explain to her all the things patiently, instead of just expecting her to know everything. This was something they could do. Millie wanted to be a mother. She gave him Bae. Surely he could try better than until now.

By the time Bae was securely strapped in a child's chair in the Cadillac, the boy was all chatter and smiles. The same went for spending the majority of the day in Gold's shop, with the collection of toys brought from home. Bae loved going to work with his papa, loved the shop full of mysterious things, and Gold loved just as much having him there all day long, even if it meant keeping a watchful eye on the ever-curious kid. When there were no customers, Gold usually played with Bae or was reading to him.

When someone came though, Gold usually was telling Bae to stay in the back. There was no way of knowing who the client would be, and anyway most of the people loathed Gold, for being their strict landlord, for being the rich guy they owed money to, for driving a hard bargain and ensuring that no one broke a deal. Why being forced to keep the deal was so loathsome for some people, Gold wasn't sure. But what was the worst, Bae might have heard some snide remarks about his parent's marriage. Millie didn't waste time and her friends, and then the whole town were well informed what a cruel husband Gold was, how controlling and demanding. Sometimes he was catching some distrustful stares and wondered if they thought that he was abusing his wife. He tried to control her escapades to the Rabbit Hole, back early in their marriage, but to no effect. It resulted in even more hurt feelings and ugly rows. So in the end Millie had her share of money to do as she pleased, and he finally stopped asking. She was with him, right? That was enough, how could he demand that she resigned from what she liked? She was with him, and it still was so much more than he expected. They survived the worst period of their relationship, thankfully before their son was born. She gave him Bae. She told him that she wanted to be a mother, and she allowed Gold to be what he always wanted to be – a father.

Bae fell asleep on the cot, so Gold carefully covered him with a blanket. They still had a couple of hours left until the vaccination, so Gold retrieved his phone and went to the front room to call Millie. She didn't deserve to be left out, to get the silent treatment after their argument this morning. Everything could have been worked through.

'Hello?' she said flippantly when Gold was almost sure that she wouldn't pick up the phone.

'Millie, I'm sorry, we shouldn't talk like we did in the morning...'

'Well, you seemed to be awfully sure that I shouldn't talk at all.'

'That's not true, Millie...'

'Don't lie, Robert. You think I'm no mother and no wife.'

'But we can work on it.'

Millie laughed, loudly and unpleasantly.

'We're working on it since our wedding. That's what, eight years now. If you weren't that rich guy who swept me away from that shitty town and that shitty job, I don't know how would we manage that.'

'Millie... Millie, were you drinking?'

'I don't know how that would be your business. You never drink with me. You're disgusted by me, don't think I don't see that. But that's okay. I'm just as disgusted by you.'

'Millie! Don't say that!'

'It's just the truth. What, are you afraid of the truth? But you are afraid of everything. I keep telling people that and they still don't believe me. You managed to get that scary landlord act to the master level. But we both know that without your money you are nothing.'

'Millie... Please. I... We'll talk later, at home then... When we'll both be calm.'

'No, I want to talk now. You called. Are you running away? Again? Panicking and making false steps? Be careful, or you'll fall down.'

'Alright, then... What do you want to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know. I just think that you're so sure you're so much better than me. The caring father, the responsible businessman. Why did you take me as your wife then, the poor gal, always in trouble?'

'Millie, we had this talk a million times. I fell in love with you.'

'Oh right. And took the role of a knight on a white horse. Helping the poor damsel in distress. Even then you thought yourself better.'

'That's not true, you know that. I fell in love with you. And I'm still amazed and grateful that you agreed to be my wife.'

'Of course, because no one else wanted you. But don't worry, we fulfilled each other's needs that day. You had the impression that you're a man, and I finally could leave my shitty life behind. Only you know what? I miss it.'

'What are you saying, Millie...'

'I miss my life back then,' Millie said in a steely voice. 'You gave me stability, but it's not what I really want. That's why I want to talk to you now, I prefer to say it on the phone. I've met someone who reminded me what I really want from life.'

'Met? What do you mean, who?... When?'

Millie laughed.

'Oh, sure you want to know when. Don't worry, just today. He's sitting right here, at the Rabbit Hole's table.'

Gold felt a cold shiver running down his spine. Right there? Hearing all this...?

'So you're actually right,' Millie continued. 'I'm no mother and no wife. I had my fun with an older guy who let me feel safe, but now it's not enough. Think about it.'

Then she blew him a loud kiss and disconnected. Gold had to actually sit down, because he started to feel lightheaded.

A weak, pathetic coward, who only had the impression of being a man.

He wasn't sure how long he was sitting there, staring into space and trying to manage all the thoughts and memories whirling in his head. It started to get dark outside and he realized that they had to hurry up if they were going to be on time for vaccination.

'Bae, Bae, sweetheart, wake up,' Gold said, sitting on the cot and shaking gently Bae's shoulder. 'We need to go.'

Bae looked at him sleepily and Gold took a deep breath, not sure if he was able to deal with a fussy, anxious child right now. But he had to, right?

He managed to pack Bae into the car and drove to the doctor's office at the very end of working hours. Bae let the doctor examine his throat and listen to his chest without protest, but then they were waiting before the treatment room and Bae was getting progressively clingy.

Gold sat down on one of the hard, plastic chairs and scooped Bae up.

'Don't worry, son. I'll be with you all the time.'

The nurse passed by and smiled at them.

'Aww, afraid of the vaccination?' she cooed. 'Don't worry, it won't hurt.'

'...will,' Bae murmured into Gold's chest.

'But the nurse will make sure it will be quick,' Gold said.

The nurse opened the door to the treatment room, inviting a young couple with a one year old baby to enter. She didn't close the door properly, so both Gold and Bae could hear everything.

Including a weird, high sound that reminded Gold vaguely of a whistling kettle, and which only after a few moments went a few octaves lower and proved to be the baby's cry.

Bae threw himself at Gold's neck and held tight, with eyes shut. He didn't budge even after the baby quieted down and the couple went out into the corridor.

'Bailey Gold,' the nurse called, and Gold didn't have any other choice but to get up and carry Bae inside.

The nurse showed him to a chair.

'Bailey,' she said cheerfully. 'You're a big boy. You've seen that baby before you, how quickly he stopped crying. Now, don't be a baby yourself.'

Gold bristled at the comment, because the nurse basically accused his son of being a coward. And that was not true, plain and simple. He wasn't going to allow it. He forcefully silenced the small voice in the back of his mind, whispering to him how on earth Bae could grew up to be anything but a coward with a pathetic father like him.

'Bae, sweetheart, I know you're afraid. But I want you to have this vaccine so you won't get sick. It's better to suffer now for a moment than get sick, and to three different bugs.'

'Your dad is right, Bae,' the nurse said authoritatively, approaching them with a syringe ready in her hand. Bae reluctantly allowed Gold to uncover his right arm. 'You surely wouldn't want to get sick, when there is a one, little injection to be done to prevent it. Think of it.'

Gold wasn't sure what to say to that, but Bae went red and hid his face shamefully in Gold's shoulder. Then he risked one quick look at the needle and started to cry loudly, clinging to Gold for dear life.

'Bae! Bae, please! It will be only a moment! Please, calm down!' Gold begged, but Bae didn't stop crying.

'Oh, oh,' the nurse cooed. 'Stop crying, Bae, you shouldn't cry this much over such a tiny, little needle. There's nothing to be afraid of. Children younger than you can do this without crying.'

Gold was damn sure, that he would burst into tears himself any moment. All it would take was another accusation of being a baby.

'Bae. I'm sure you can do this. I'm here. You can cry all you want, just let me hold your arm, so the nurse can give you the injection. Then we'll go home. Okay?'

Slowly, not stopping crying, Bae allowed his papa to hold him tightly and the injection was given.

'I's over, Bae. It's over,' Gold repeated, holding Bae close.

'See?' the nurse said, smiling, surely trying to be comforting, but from Gold's perspective, failing miserably. 'Was it really necessary to make such a fuss?'

'Yes,' Gold said. 'He's four years old. I know adult people who are afraid of needles. I don't like being pricked with needles myself, and I'm sure you don't like it either. Bae can cry all he wants. It's not his fault, that you can't tolerate a crying child.' He started to wonder with delay, what on earth was he saying, but couldn't stop. 'If you feel like you're not doing your job right when a child is crying, then I'm sure as hell that you shouldn't make the child feel guilty of that. We're going, thank you.'

With that he got up and carried Bae outside. He remember the previous vaccination, when he reminded Bae to thank the nurse, and now he mentally kicked himself. Back then Bae was also afraid and crying, no wonder he was reluctant to thank for that. Especially when that dumb nurse jokingly threatened him with a bigger needle next time. How on earth were all these people working with children in the medical field?

Down the corridor he realized that he was going so fast, still holding Bae, that he would have to stop and sit down, otherwise his leg was going to give up any moment. They flopped onto another plastic chair.

'Alright, Bae?' he whispered.

'Mhm...' Bae murmured. ''M sorry, papa...'

'No, no, you don't have to be sorry.'

'For crying.'

'You can cry all you want. I mean it. It's perfectly okay.'

'You're alright, papa?' Bae asked suddenly, and Gold realized that he was rambling, close to tears himself.

'I'm fine. I'm tired, Bae. We'll go home now, eat dinner and rest, okay?'

Bae nodded. But now, when the vaccination was over, Gold felt the leaden weight of anxious anticipation in his stomach. What would Millie say and do, when they were home? Would she try to discuss things, to argue, with Bae present? Gold hoped she would wait until Bae was asleep, even if the whole evening full of oppressive silence wasn't a good perspective either. But they would make it. Millie was with him almost nine years. Of course they would make it.

But when they finally got home, Millie wasn't there. The purse, the coat, the shoes, were gone. Then he noticed that her scarves were gone, all four, the expensive scarves she was so proud of. Why would she take all four? Somewhere deep inside he must have known immediately, especially noticing more things gone. Though he finally understood it when he noticed the one thing that wasn't there before.

A creamy envelope, addressed to him and Bae, with two pieces of paper inside was lying on the dining room table.


End file.
